I’ve never really used this space to tell anyone my feelings, mostly just fill it with words. Sometimes they try to be beautiful, sometimes intelligent.. At times they succeed, most times they fall on stone cold ground. Today, however, something’s different.

I’m sad today. Sad for the loss of trust, for the disappearance of something, anything to believe in, like Santa, fairies, or even God. I miss that feeling. A magical feeling that always manages to thaw out frozen hearts. I used to believe in a lot of things, never really thought I would ever sway in the face of the pressure of growing up. Yet predictably, cynics come slamming at the door demanding justification and armed with ridicule. Pseudo-intellects start spewing lines dripping with sarcastic superiority. And even though I try to stand my ground, I always fail to stand strong.

Now, however, I refuse to listen to their empty words. If only they would speak from their hearts, I would not mind listening. Yet when innocence is too often judged as stupidity, honesty becomes nothing else other than an easy target for slander. When quotations and citations are overrated, barely anyone is original anymore.

Now I stand here bare for the world to judge. I realize that no matter how people see me and think of me, it is only the me in their minds that changes. The reality of myself do not necessarily alter. I am still free to believe.


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