Woke up early today to the buzzing of my mobile phone. A message from one of my sisters. It’s been close to six months since she left for England, though it certainly feels much longer, and although we’ve always known where she is, reading the message suddenly brings to mind how far apart we really are.
We’ve grown very close as siblings through the years. We used to joke about it. The Power of Three, we used to say. We’re stronger when we’re together. We can do anything and survive everything. And through it all, we have. We do have our differences and will fight tooth and nail from time to time, but either we’ll make up or it will just fade away. We’ve had our share of being apart, but never for so long and never to such a distance that we can’t see each other when we wish to.
It feels so odd at the moment to realize that. It’s so sad that it hurts. I know we’ll be together again one day, but that’s no consolation for the here and now. Memories flood back of the time she was leaving at the airport. We were each lost in our own tears, yet still trying to hold on to the moment, not willing to let go. We’ve never been very good with goodbyes, despite having dealt with so many when we were growing up. It just felt so hard at the time. We held hands and cried, smiled bittersweet smiles, and we stood there as she walked through the gate and caught her looking back and waving just before she disappeared from our sight.
And now… Well, it’s almost six months since she’s been away. We’ve developed our own sets of problems to deal with, each more dramatic and complicated than the next. It’s so strange to not be able to sit around together, cigarettes in hand, talking about everything, finding solutions, sharing, arguing. We know that we’ll be together someday, but right now, missing those little moments we’ve shared, time and distance feel too hard to bear. Still, we have no choice but to trudge forward on our chosen paths, living with our old memories until the day that we’ll finally be with one another and make new ones to make up for the lost time.
Love you, sis. And really miss you, too.