My words, My self

I got an interesting review today. After reading my writing, a friend commented that it’s too ‘in order’. There’s a clear sense of introduction, discussion, and conclusion. Everything is properly in place – sometimes even too much so. Perhaps he’s right, but you know what? I like it.

His comment made me think about my writing and how it reflects my personality – after all, whatever you create is a part of you and vice versa. The thing is, I’m not one of those writers that can develop a well thought out structure and then plow on from there. Lord knows I’ve tried, but it just never worked out. It never felt right. Instead, my writing process typically begins with an idea and I just follow it along and see where it takes me.

Which is pretty much the way I live my life.

I never have a clear idea of where I’m going, which makes it quite tricky when people start asking me where I see myself in the next five or ten years. Hell, sometimes I’m not even sure where I am right now. I just follow whatever direction my whims take and enjoy the ride. Of course, it does get complicated sometimes. Walking around without a map often means traveling the same pathway over and over again and it does get rather tiresome. A lot of times, it also means ending up in somewhat suspicious and dangerous places. However, not having a destination also means that you’ll never be lost because there’s no specific place that you should be arriving at anyhow; and anyway, the suspicious and dangerous places are usually the most interesting ones.

Measuring out the pros and cons, I say they balance each other out.

And do you know the most interesting part? It’s that at the end, despite the flaws and the typos and the general chaos involved in the process of creating it, my writing does have a certain flow, a certain order, a proverbial red thread that connects it all. Viewed in that light, maybe my life isn’t so hopeless after all. Maybe at the end of the road, when everything is said and done, I’d be able to look back and finally understand what it has all been about.

So through the fears and the worries, the anxiety and uncertainty, I will say again what I’ve said countless times before, my personal mantra:

In the end, no matter what, everything will always be alright.


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