O Valentine

It is February, the month of rose bouquets and boxes of chocolate. Valentine’s day is just a hop, skip, and sappy love song away. As luck would have it, this year it falls on a Saturday, guaranteeing a full-fledged celebration of this day of love in every club all through town. Of course, Heaven is not going to be an exception. They haven’t actually sent the usual notification text message yet, but I’m already having visions of pretty boys painting the dance floor pink.

This is going to be unbearable.

Looking back, it has been a full year and some days since my last relationship. Catastrophic as it might have been, nothing since then has even come close. I’m not going to lie and say that there hasn’t been possibilities, but after careful consideration they were quickly cast aside as mere distractions. Granted, they were nice enough but I just didn’t see a future with them, or at least the kind of future that I have in mind.

Of course, taking into account the long nights spent discussing the troubles my friends experience in their relationships combined with my own failed attempts kept fresh in my memories through endless reminiscence, a relationship may not be what I’m looking for right now. Granted, the idea of companionship and intimacy is appealing but is it worth the price tag it has on?

Unlike a Louis Vuitton bag, a relationship does not come with a lifetime guarantee. When a relationship is damaged, you can’t take it to a store and demand a repair or a replacement. You either have to work it or end it and both require an immense amount of time and energy, whether to make it last or to get over it. Patti Smith had it right when she said that sometimes love just ain’t enough. Love is an ethereal, abstract concept but a relationship is made of solid stuff. It’s more than the merging of two individuals but also two previously separate set of lives, problems, habits, pasts, and other baggage, not only requiring but demanding commitment, patience, and compromise from both parties involved. And we haven’t even begun discussing jealousy, suspicion, boredom, the probability of infidelity, and the impending heartbreak.

So what does this mean for me? Am I swearing off relationships and intent on remaining single for the rest of my life? Well, in one of my older posts I mentioned that I was looking for forever and happily ever after. I’m still looking. But, though secretly I’m still wishing for a prince charming in a white Range Rover to come along and sweep me off my feet, I’ve officially given up waiting. I’ve decided that, man or no man, I’m going to give my single self a break and just have fun with my life.

So bring on Saint Valentine. I’ll put on my hot-pink shirt and dance with him all night long.

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