Gone

Uncertain and confused, I find it harder to maintain what remains of my tattered faith. It feels as though the shadows are creeping in closer and I’m suffocated by a mysterious sadness that I can’t explain. Incapacitated by fear and anxiety and I’m no longer sure that I’m able to break free. What is this place that’s so disconcerting yet familiar at the same time? Could I be losing my grip on sanity? If I decide to remain here, will I never be able to find my way back?

It’s a deep, dark place filled with unknown currents and they’re sweeping me away. Even if I could release myself from the tangles of memories, emotions, and thoughts, I don’t know if I would. It’s oh so much easier to stop trying and just let myself go. Again things seem to lose their meaning and whatever purpose I’m aiming for is neither interesting nor significant.

Once there was a boy who seemed to have it all and yet never had enough. He started looking for something to fill the void but nothing ever did. He kept hoping and praying, never daring to stop believing because he knew that if he did, he’d lose a part of himself and he’d never find it again. The silly boy never realised that he’d already lost it along the way and that what was lost, in the darkness, will never again be found.

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