Catch 22

People want power. Maybe in different forms and for different reasons and purposes but we all want it. No one is immune to its hypnotic seduction for to wish for the immunity to power is, ironically, simply to wish for power in one of its forms.

People call it by different names: money, beauty, charisma, intelligence, strength, influence, status, talent, knowledge and so on. But they all mean the same: superiority over others whether in essence or in consequence.

The world we live in is competitive, calculating, and oftentimes cruel. And as long as we are a part of society, there is no escaping the power games because politics exists as long as there is dynamics.

It’s depressing for me because it doesn’t fit my idea of what the world should be. Yet the fact remains that it’s how the world is. And the more I shy away from engaging in politics, the further I grow apart from the rest of mankind. They see me as withdrawn, awkward, and distant while I see them as aggressive, foolish, and pointless. Well, not so much them as their actions; but then again, aren’t we defined by what we do and how we do it?

As I think about all this, it feels like I’m slipping into a deep, dark place. The absence of a common ground as a basis for establishing connection means the gap is widening and becoming that much harder to bridge, which consequently means that unless I find a reconciliation, I might never be completely functional socially.

At least until I have the power to be an absolute recluse.

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