You came over tonight for the first time and we started talking. About things. About your past and mine. About you. About me. About the impossibility of us. I’m slowly learning you and in the process am slowly learning me. You looked at me. I looked back. You asked if you can hold me. I asked you why. You said because you really, really wanted to. That was a good enough reason for me. So I let you.
We continued talking and laughing and smiling and you kept looking at me and I kept looking at you. I kissed your cheek and you nuzzled my neck. And we laughed some more. You were suddenly on top of me, looking down on me. I’m not used to it but I liked it. For once I’m not in control and I should be scared and I was but I liked it.
Your phone buzzed. Must’ve been your girl. We both turned our heads to look at it then back at each other. I asked if you wanted to pick it up. You reached out your hand then changed your mind and held me again. You kissed my forehead, my eyelids, my cheeks, my chin, deliberately missing the one spot that wanted your lips most. You’re good, so good at this and it’s even more obvious why you’re bad, so bad for me.
This is all it can ever be. I’ll never be yours and you’ll never be mine. For once I’m not wanting, not wishing, not asking for more. You made me feel again. At least for tonight, that’s enough for me.